The turning point.

Not surprisingly, I have been swallowed by the mammoth beast that is the senior year semester.

Good news, though, on the Plan C front:

The past few weeks, I've been working on "retrofitting" parts of the story, and through it all, I'm learning so much about the novel writing process. As a result, hoping that my depictions of academia will ring a little more true than they have thus far.

Some of the more major aspects of the work are being tweaked as I realize just how much this book is "character-driven" versus "plot-driven." What does that mean? It means that, according to my professor, my novel will "stand or fall" based on how genuine - how real - my characters are. I wholeheartedly agree.

I'm telling you, this directed research is a novelist's boot camp. Never before have I felt so sure that I have have little-to no-idea what the heck I'm actually doing. Never before have I so seriously doubted my basic competency as a creative writer to tackle a project like this. Each meeting reveals to me just exactly how much I do NOT know about my craft. This may sound like I'm whining about a negative experience, but out of the nagging self-doubt comes the challenge to do the absolute best I can and to NEVER settle for less than 110% out of myself.

But perhaps, most significantly of all, I'm learning so much about how I have to BELIEVE in what I'm doing. If I don't, who will? I have to love this book enough to be willing to do whatever I can humanly do to make it good. To be willing to make sacrifices where I need to - and to figure out exactly what's truly important in my work. Nothing worth creating out of this is going to come quickly or easily.

It's been a stretching experience - one of extreme highs and lows - but, through it all, I think that it's been teaching me more about diligence and patience than I could have ever imagined it could. But through it all, I know that I'm only further discovering where the passions of my heart lie.

And, as a result, I know that I'll never be the same again.